There are times when someone could benefit enormously from regression therapy but simply isn't able to experience a session themselves. They may be very young. They may be living with advanced illness. Medication may prevent them from maintaining the focus needed for a session. They may have significant cognitive or mental health challenges, or circumstances that make a conventional session impossible.

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In situations like these, another approach may sometimes be possible: Regression by Proxy.

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It involves a proxy person entering the regression state on their behalf, always with a clear intention to explore whatever will best support that person for their highest good, and only where permission has been given either consciously or, where conscious consent isn't possible, at a higher-mind level.

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Although Regression by Proxy may be new to you, the idea of working through a surrogate isn't unique to regression therapy. Similar proxy approaches are also used in some other complementary therapies, including Surrogate EFT (Proxy Tapping) and certain forms of applied kinesiology, where another person acts on behalf of someone who is unable to participate directly. Regression by Proxy applies this same principle within the context of regression therapy.

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Sometimes, when someone cannot make the journey themselves...

love finds another way.

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My First Proxy Session

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When I first qualified as a regression therapist, there was one person I wanted to work with more than anyone else. My grandmother and beloved ‘Da’. She was the one who had first introduced me to the idea of past lives many years earlier when I was a child. Long before I ever imagined becoming a therapist myself, she had quietly opened a door that would eventually change the direction of my life.

By the time I qualified, however, Da was in her 90s and approaching the end of her life. She had a number of challenging physical symptoms, and was fearful about dying and leaving loved ones behind. She would often tell me about a recurring dream in which she was told it was time to get off the bus. The medication she needed made her very sleepy, and it simply wasn't possible for her to experience a regression session herself. I remember feeling disappointed because I wanted so much to give something back to the woman who had given me so much.

Then a question quietly appeared. What if I could do the work with someone else for her? At the time, very little had been written about Regression by Proxy, and very few therapists were exploring it. I found out what I could. I had no idea whether it would work. I simply knew it felt right.

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Three Extraordinary Sessions

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Da was happy for me to proceed and over the course of three sessions, I worked with my mother who volunteered to be the proxy. We had one clear intention: To explore whatever needed healing, understanding or releasing for Da as she prepared for the next stage of her journey.

As always in regression work, there was nothing to force, nothing to control. We simply followed the energy wherever it naturally led.

Painful childhood memories emerged. Old grief gently unfolded. Opportunities arose for understanding, forgiveness and healing.

Frozen emotions that had been carried for a lifetime seemed finally ready to soften. It wasn't about changing the past. It was about transformation and allowing peace where there had once been pain.

 

The Day Everything Changed

 

The morning after our third and final session, my mum was preparing to return home from Italy. I remember saying to her,

"Shall we do one more session today, just to check if there is anything else we need to do?" 

Even as the words left my mouth, something deep inside me knew we wouldn't need to. Just a few minutes later, the telephone rang. It was my aunt. Da had passed away peacefully. Writing this now, I still find that moment incredibly moving. There was a quiet sense that everything was complete. She had finally felt ready to get off the bus.

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The Greatest Privilege

 

Even after all these years, the power of these sessions continues to fill me with awe. What fascinates me isn't simply what unfolds during a session. It's witnessing what those experiences change within people. In Da's case, those around her noticed something beautiful during her final days. Physical symptoms eased. The fear that had once surrounded dying seemed to soften. There was an acceptance. A peacefulness. As my aunt later described it, it was as though Da had already begun her journey. She no longer seemed to be fighting to stay. She simply seemed ready. Ready to let go. Ready to go home.

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A Gift Beyond Goodbye

 

Some months later, I sought further feedback through a trusted friend and experienced medium whose work I knew and respected deeply. Without knowing any details of the sessions we had carried out, she described how the work had helped Da release old burdens, find peace and move through her transition more gently. She spoke of childhood sadness that had finally lifted, old grief that had softened, and a profound sense that loose ends had been lovingly tied together before she left this life. She also shared something that has stayed with me ever since - that this work had helped Da trust the process of letting go.

 

Whether people understand experiences like this spiritually, symbolically or in another deeply personal way is entirely their own choice. For me, what mattered most was something much simpler. The woman who had first introduced me to this extraordinary work had found peace. And knowing that brought peace to me, too.

 

What Proxy Regression Can Offer

 

Since then, I've had the privilege of using Regression by Proxy to support children, elderly people, prisoners, those living with serious illness, and others who for whatever reason were simply unable to experience a regression session themselves. Every situation is unique.

Every intention is different. But they all begin in exactly the same place.

Compassion.

Sometimes a parent wants to better understand how to support a child.

Sometimes a family member wants to help someone who can no longer communicate clearly.

Sometimes a person nearing the end of life is simply too frail or too heavily medicated to participate themselves.

Regression by Proxy offers another possibility.

Not as a replacement for medical care or other support, but as a gentle therapeutic approach that may bring understanding, healing and peace when a conventional session simply isn't possible.

 

The Quiet Joy of Giving Something Back

 

Looking back now, I realise that qualifying as a regression therapist gave me many wonderful gifts. But perhaps the greatest gift of all was being able to give something back to the woman who was not only my grandmother, she was my safe space, my swimming teacher, my fellow adventurer, and one of the people who taught me - without ever realising it - how to follow the fun, especially if it involved dogs or chocolate.

 

To know that I helped smooth the way for my beloved Da's journey home...

To know that love had found another way...

To know that, in some small way, I was able to help bring her greater peace before she left this world...

fills me with an immense sense of joy.

Not the loud, celebratory kind.

The quiet joy that comes from knowing you have been able to help someone you love at one of the most important moments of their soul's journey.

That remains one of the greatest privileges of my life.

And if this work can bring even a fraction of that comfort, healing and peace to another person or another family, then I feel deeply grateful to be able to offer it.